Inconvenience: making things convenient

(so this is my bust, at 22, and i'm thinking, as usual) 

So I feel as if being a member of the greater society for 22 years strong leaves me entitled to a number of things. One full year into being a legal drinker, i feel as if i can pride myself on the simple fact that...well... I am not an alcoholic. Thanks.

I was just thinking, or more like my heart was just thinking, about how odd proximity becomes. I'm talking about people, i'm talking about relationships. The right place the right time. We are so enamored with space. Somehow we need SO MUCH space for ourselves, but the only time we actually go out of our way for other people is if they happen to be within our social space. Does that make sense?

I mean i guess it does but does that not sound sloth-ish.

I mean think about the last time you took time out to be a friend knowing that the means to get to that person would most likely be inconvenient. Ask yourself that right now.

I write most of this out of frustration. The last year of my life i've dealt with this very concept. I have had people who were supposedly the ones who were going to "have my back", make it easy to have my back, when its easy. 

Its a surreal experience to find yourself in a rut, on your way down, falling, so much so that your so called "friends" are inconveniently prefixed on something else, making your fall convenient. Just think about your so called "social circles". Think about who you hurt by alienating (even if it is unintentional). This is not to say "create a circle, and be strong only in that circle". It is however to say that you can't actually have a circle when you somehow disconnect one of your most important links.

Thats all, i'm done. I hope this message gets to the people it needs to get to, I think you know who you are, if you don't, ask.

SL

/unexpected/...

Just to start: I've never addressed this blatant fact but I have absolutely no idea who actually reads this. At times, I think it would be helpful to know who actually reads what I write so if you do read, maybe poke me on facebook. Because without a motivation, why write. Without poverty, why solve it. Get it? This feels like the start, this is the powder to my Easy Mac. Add the water, heat, stir, and BAM... Mac and cheese

B.S. i know. I pump out straight bovine feces sometimes.

But you know what else is unreal... what we constantly reinforce as real. I take everything I think is real, "for sure", a done deal, etc. and make those things literally that... over and no longer in need to work.

I constantly am reminded of how much work I have to do. I've always believed I "deserved" something special, something that works, and I always thought that "something special" would come naturally, or more that it would "feel right". Yet everytime I feel it's right, it's never right.

Ok, i'm rambling but the point is...

don't expect what you think is expected... because it's all unexpected.

Also see the film Burn After Reading and think about the following. Not a great film but think on the following few things.

Take a positive/fatalistic yet optimistic spin on what it really means to live in a modern society where you can only trust traffic, taxes and death. Is it not worth it to trust your life with a significant other? Is trust so hard in this facebook, eharmony world? Journey said it best, and I think about it everyday, no matter how hard it seems, and how far off she is... 

"DON'T STOP BELIEVIN'"

Pray, love, live, and hopefully in the end, expect the unexpected

sl

I don't want to follow...you

You have taken everything I thought was guaranteed and made it questionable,

You make the difficult seem really easy, key word there is seem,

You have made the recipe for success different, you define life by numbers,

You make it so easy to give up and give in,

You have made consequence a means instead of a lesson learned,

You try to make hearts break without vision, without answers,

You throw people down,

You kick,

You rip, you tear, then you run

You pick what looks good to make good fall, stumble, and break

However,

You may get some, but you won't have everything,

You can make my goals and aspirations seem as difficult as possible, the difficult will become possible,

You can't make it too easy to give in, i'll keep pushing,

You can't break more hearts than He can fix,

You can't throw people down without someone holding our head before we fall,

Rip, tear, kick, manipulate, and run, give us whatever you have, whatever you want to do, it doesn't matter

It really doesn't matter.

Get to your knees, eventually, you will break, you will fall, your vices will become powerless, what holds me back will be gone, i'll come swinging

i will fly, i will laugh, i will feel great joy and love and most of all, peace will flow, and i will drink from it

the poor will be rich, the sick will run, the unfortunate will be fortunate, the blind will see the sunset, the depressed will roll in fields of ecstasy, blue will become ivory, colors will fade and all will mean one thing...

that love has come

SL