Trane

Someone told me I needed this so here I am. That someone was me.

It might be time for me to air out some dirty laundry, to take out the trash, to dispose of the garbage, to free up some of the free radicals, to clear out my synapses and create new connections, to clear out my hard drive . (andddd enough)

"I don't want to be scared anymore, but I know I will be anyway. I think fear is the monster inside that somehow, one day, makes itself fully actualized as an angel and is clandestinely walking you to the place where you should be. Turmoil is merely the angel taking you by the hand, the rough, flaky, dangerously sharp edge-laden appendage that appears to belong to a subhuman, subterranean beast, but its actually just the angels hand all along, you were just too scared to realize who it was."

I'm coping with pain here. That last whole paragraph is the only way I can understand what pain is, because I feel it. I feel it when I handle my future without forgetting the let downs of my past. I feel it when some things seem impossible and the pain makes that impossibility seem real. I feel it when I forget my place. I feel it when I give and don't feel others doing the same. I feel it when I look in the mirror and realize I don't need to feel it anymore.

Give freely and don't look back.

Play your instrument to the effect John Coltrane on "Every time We Say Goodbye", frantic yet controlled, yet tactful, yet lovingly.

Even if people forget you, I know some won't.

Heres to hoping half of my heart is as heavy as the other half.


SL

Free

And i want to be free
Wind in my hair
Salt on my skin
Sun in the air
I have to feel love
Holding on me
I'll give you everything that you would ever need

SL

Its a day away from a day.

Movement

Yea, why not.

3,200 miles later, I figured things would be different, and they are. But I was surprised to find something that held constant the whole way through. Throughout the trip, I thought "it be" cool to take short snippet videos of my trip as opposed to the standard still shot photograph because for whatever reason, we remember movement so much better than still action.

I remember how I felt when you (insert some significant action here). Movement helps us remember how we feel or felt for that matter, whether it be dance, athletics, music, art, etc. These are all movements that we remember not because they are merely movements in themselves but because these movements extract emotion.

Thats all it is. Thats all movement is, an extraction of emotion.

So it would make sense that moving 3,200 miles across this beautiful country would elicit an emotional response

The most important of these emotional responses was somewhat unexpected. I pulled into my drive at midnight or so last Saturday night, turned off the car, opened the car door, stretched a bit, looked up, and what did I see but the most beautiful sky I had ever seen in my life. It was unexpected because for the last four years, I've lived in arguably the most beautiful place in the world. For some reason, it took me 3,200 miles to remember how big things really are and how beautiful the big things really are.

Hence my frustration when people fail to recognize the beauty in where they are NOW. Be moved by now and you will continue to do so. I think. ? .

SL

(Btw: The content of "Man in the Mirror" is unbelievably more moving than it was a week ago. Now thats art.)